Judging. Assuming. Speculation or presumption.
I am totally guilty.
I have judged you, in one way or another; and for that, my friend, I am truly sorry.
After reading this post a while back, I was painfully aware of how I have even subconciously judged my fellow women. I know how awful I feel when I am judged; actually one of the things that irritates me most is when I feel judged by someone. Sometimes it's easy to brush off and not care-- other times it marinades for a while and cuts deep. You see-- we may have reasons for why we do what we do or don't do, or maybe we don't have reasons at all-- but it's not my place to judge any of that.
Why all the internal reflection you ask?
I remember sitting at a bridal shower a few years back, when Maya was just a twinkle in God's eye and I was just a newleywed myself. The bride was sharing with us how overwhelming registering for items was; that there was so much to choose from. A friend next to me whispered, "Just wait until you have babies."
She went on to explain how the choices continue to manifest to the smallest of details. "Will you breast or bottle feed? For how long? Organic cloth diapers or disposable? Homemade baby food or storebought jars? Vaccinations or no? Demand feeding or Parent Directed Feeding? The list goes on and on..."
I will never forget that conversation. Although it was years before I had my little bundle of joy, it stuck with me. What on earth?! Did people actually spend time worrying about all these things?
Turns out, sometimes they do.
And sometimes, they don't. At all. Or maybe they're somewhere in between.
Each decision we make, whether it be a parenting decision or not, is ours to make... And we should feel confident and happy about our choices.
In my family, I can be known as an opinionated and strong willed person. I have often voiced my feelings toward something with a certain level of joy or disdain. Motherhood has taught me that those opinions and feelings are just fine-- however, I am not to project them on to someone else or make someone feel wrong for doing different.
I know mothers with ten children; some who's intention is to have only one. I know mothers who breastfeed, bottle feed, or don't do either exclusively. I respect mothers who won't touch a disposible diaper, and those who feel similarly about cloth. I understand mothers who choose to vaccinate or not to vaccinate and can appreciate the reasons for both. Organic or not? I know many women who feel extremely convicted about both sides of the equation.
This is not to say that I am still not an opinionated or strong willed person! I have my feelings about many things-- especially the things I do concerning my daughter-- but I've learned that these things are what works best for our family and may or may not be right for someone else.
So here's cheers to all of us, doing the best with what we have for the people we love. :-)
~Thanks for reading!