Monday, August 29, 2011


I've called her Bafney ever since she was in kindergarten.

Harold Jun, this adorable little chubby boy in her class wrote her a love letter.  "Beer Bafney, I luv yoo" is how it started off.  I was 14 at the time, and found it completely and utterly sweet, not to mention hilarious.  The name stuck.

When SHE was 14, Bafney had surgery to address a scoliosis condition that wasn't correcting itself with wearing a brace or  physical therapy.  The surgery required 6 hours of being sliced open and attaching titanium rods to her spine, screwing them into her bones.

Not exactly what a 14 year old girl had in mind after 8th grade graduation.

I won't go into all the details of that surgery.  There were complications-- and even though she was at one of the most prestigious hospitals in Los Angeles and had one of the nations most respected spinal surgeons operating on her, it didn't go well.  The recovery was long.  She made it through of course.  She's a fighter and a winner but it wasn't fun. 

Needless to say, when she came home this summer with pain in her back, we were all a little concerned.  She'd been experiencing pain throughout the school year and upon further diagnosis with another phenomenal doctor, it was apparrent she needed surgery again...  This time to remove the rods.

I called my mom every hour it seemed while she was in surgery.  I wanted to be there so badly for her, but some things at work required of my schedule that I stay here in Oregon during the operation.  We were all praying that her spine had fused so that they didn't have to replace the rods with new ones.  We were praying for a speedy recovery.  For no complications.  For her spirits to remain high.  For her to come out of this with an even greater understanding of...  How much God loves her, even though he allowed this all to happen to her.

She walked the day after surgery.  She kept me posted on all her ups and downs, it was a gift to be able to share in this with her even if it was over phone and skype.  It's been a little over a week since she got out of this surgery, and I am so grateful that she is doing GREAT.  As we talked that night she came home from the hospital, "I'm feeling GREAT!" was her exclamation, as if an exclamation point was hanging in the proverbial air over our conversation.  Her voice sounded as if she was bouncing off walls.  She was walking around.  Talking, laughing, moving freely without pain.

My brother gave her this verse when she was going through some of the hard times with her back: 

"Then Job replied to the LORD, 'I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know'" (Job 42:1-3).

Perhaps this experience is something too wonderful for her to know-- perhaps God has so much more to teach her... Her strength is an inspiration to me and a wonderful reminder that no plan of the Lord's can be thwarted.  We asked why.  I'm sure she as heck asked why... Why twice?!  But who are we to obscure the Lord's counsel without devine understanding of all He has orchestrated.  His plan is far more wonderful than we can ever know.

Beer Bafney, I love yoo.  You are truly a gift.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Found Out

This morning during my quiet time, I came across a passage that made me wince at the thought.

"...You may be sure that your sin will find you out" (Numbers 32:23, emphasis added).

It made me think...  What sin am I harboring?  Because it will come out I will be found out.

Adam and Eve...

Don't worry, I'm not hiding any crazy secrets or anything that I'm worried about being uncovered.  But it was a good, strong reminder that when we sin, we will be found out.  How often do I truly repent for my sin?  I'm ashamed to admit it's not very often.  My sin-- while maybe not as visible as David's affair with Bathsheba, or as violent as Cain murdering his brother, or as secretive as Jacob or Rachel's deceit, or as significant to mankind as Adam and Eve's decision... My sin is still, well, sin.  It still creates a need for justification. 

I'm found out.

Thank God he gave us grace, sufficient for us, covering multitudes of sin and is freely available to us. 

We serve a just God.  A faithful God.  A God who finds us out, but promises that we'll find Him when we seek Him with all our hearts.  "I will be found by you, declares the Lord" (Jer 29:13 emphasis added).

We will be found out.  So let's run and find Him.

***Thanks for reading!!!  My baby sister is going in for surgery tomorrow, so if you remember, please keep her in your prayers!***

Monday, August 15, 2011

Everything is Sacred

"One of the greatest hindrances to internal peace which the Christian encounters is the common habit of dividing our lives into two areas, the sacred and the secular... our inner lives tend to break up so that we live a divided instead of a unified life."  (p65, The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer).

Have you ever had "church friends" and "work friends"?

Or when you were in school, had "school friends" and "church friends"?

It was always hard for me to mix the two.  I always had a birthday party with either my "school" or "church" or when I started sports "swimming" friends growing up.  Never mix.  It didn't work.

Once I got into college, I began blending the worlds.  It was impossible not to because suddenly I had no "church" friends in Florida since I just moved there.  My world was the swimming world but I invited my "swimming" friends to come to church.  Suddenly I just had friends.  No distinction of the two.

Weekend rolls around.  I go out to the Late Night Library (library, haha) with the gals and have fun at a party down the street.  I don't drink, although I don't think there's anything wrong with alcohol (those of you who saw my wine rack know I have nothing against alchohol!).  I go to church.  Bible study.  Maybe friends come. Maybe they don't.  Amy always comes, drives me every Sunday.  I'm so grateful for her, my bosom friend and taste of heaven.  Then Monday comes and it's back to the books and swim practice and hanging out.

"Over against these sacred acts (going to church, bible study, etc...) are the secular ones.  They include all of the ordinary activities of life which we share with the sons and daughters of Adam: eating, sleeping, etc..." (p.65, Tozer).

My mom used to say that I could swim to the glory of God.  He made me good at swimming, so why not swim to his glory?  She said everything I did was an act of worship to Him.  As if sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner was making Him smile.  In my heart I knew she was right- but oh to live like this...

"This is the old sacred-secular antithesis.  Most Christians are caught in its trap,..  they cannot get a satisfactory adjustment between the claims of two worlds.  They try to walk the itght rope between two kingdoms and they find no piece in either" (p.65-66, Tozer).

Everything is sacred.

Everything. Is. Sacred.

Everything is a gift.  We are made to worship the one who loves and knows us unlike anyone else.  Who made us for his glory.  In and for all things.  We are his delight. 

Everything is sacred.

The dishes in the sink?  Wash 'em up.

Everything is sacred.

Laundry piles and an unmade bed?  Get going and clean up.

Everything is sacred.

Job calling you to work rather than facebook?  Stop wasting time and move!

Everything is sacred.

"Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through Him." ~Colossians 3:17

Thank You Lord.

Everything is sacred. :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Bummers of Field Traveling

Seattle skyline with the Needle and Mt Rainier, afternoon. Seattle, Washington

There are some bummers to field traveling.  While I love the perks, there are a few bummers of field traveling.


I think David has the coolest job in the world-- for him.  From the time he was a kid he loved playing with toy cars.  When he got older he read car magazines.  He was probably the only fourth grader kid looking through the Auto-Trader.  Ask him the make and model of any car on the road, and he can tell you down to the year of the vehicle.  The man is crazy about cars, so it's awesome he's in a field he loves.  That being my disclaimer-- I'm of course happy for him that he gets to do what he enjoys.  Disappointed for me that he has to be away...

All. The. Time.

A few weeks ago we heard things were going to change up in the office, and there was a possibility (however rare the possibility, I still thought it was cause to do a mini celebration in my heart!) he could get a local district.  He'd be home every night.  Just the thought of it made me excited.  Then they made the announcement and he called and said "Don't be sad...."  Disappointment.  I'm still a little bit bummed.  Excited for him that he's has an opportunity to work with the different dealers, bummed for me that those different dealers don't happen to be local. 

The schedule.

Sometimes, the schedule can really work to our advantage.  Like when he had a meeting at a casino and spouses were invited to attend.  That was cool.  Or when he had another meeting in the mountains and again, spouses could attend so I happily tagged along.  That's fun.  But there are times when the schedule totally messes with us!  Just today he called to say that with this recent move, he now had an important event to attend that coincided with a mini vacay we'd planned to take in October.  Given that this event only happens once a year and we can postpone our trip, we decided it might be best to reschedule our vacation. 

The traffic.

His work requires a ton of windshield time.  Sure, he gets a lot of phone calls out of the way, but when what would normally be a 3 hour drive turns into a 6 hour drive because you hit traffic in two metropolitan areas, the wife starts to wonder where he could possibly be on a Friday night?!  Still driving?!  Craziness.  I thought we moved away from traffic!

All this being said I am blessed that my man loves what he does and is happy with his work.  =)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Everything is Safe

"Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed" (pg. 20, The Pursuit of God; A.W. Tozer).

This is what resonated with me throughout Tozer's book.  Commit it to him.  Everything is safe when we commit it to the Lord.  My job?  Safe.  My desire for kids?  Safe.  My sister's surgery?  Safe.  Our life in Oregon?  Safe.  The weather?  SAFE!!!  Everything is safe when we commit it to him.  Oh why is it so hard to remember this? 

You want peace?

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe.

You need rest?

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe.

You need contentment?

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe.

"God is here.  Wherever we are, God is here.  There is no place, there can be no place, where He is not" (p. 36, Tozer).

He's everywhere.  He knows everything.  He's here when we are completely unaware of it and the whole "universe is alive with His life" (p.41).  So why is it so hard to commit it to Him?

Everything is safe when we commit it to Him. 

Everything. Is. Safe.

Every time, all the time.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:7

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe. :)
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