Monday, January 31, 2011

14 Days of Love

Yesterday I went to a Valentines Day workshop at our church.  It was a coffee filled morning with stories and advice from some of the neatest women.  I walked away with another challenge and boy is this one going to be fun!

I will admit... I am not creative or fun when it comes to being romantic and cute with my husband.  It's quite the opposite, actually.  I get stressed out, frenzied, and get anxious about what I should do.  I start sweating.  Litterally.  I want things to be so special because I care about David so much, but somehow my gestures fall flat on the page or explode in the kitchen.  I am not the gal who's designing exciting scavenger hunts or making exquisite meals (hello, broccoli/cauliflower casserole).  I cave at the thought of making public displays.  I think I must be insecure for fear my gesture won't be received well, even though David always loves anything I do for him so I have nothing to worry about.  I'm just a mess.  Knowing that about myself, I still want to participate in what I am calling "14 Days of Love" and maybe I'll get over myself.  This is, afterall, all about my husband and not about me!

The morning started off with one of the women talking about the different seasons of marriage and how each one is different and special in its own right.  She mentioned a few things that really hit home with me:
  • Praise your husband for his good decisions and be silent on the bad ones.
  • Be under his leadership and don't undermine it.
  • He needs respect, through all seasons of marriage.
  • Praise him where he shines, pray where he doesn't.
  • Let him be the spiritual leader (she reaffirmed one of my goals of this year!)
  • Be encouraging.
  • Let him dream.  Better yet, dream with him!
  • Be his cheerleader.
  • Be purposeful in doing things together.
  • Spend shoulder to shoulder time.
  • Don't be too busy.  When you say yes to something, you say no to something else.
After hearing the widsom pour out from this amazing woman who's been married over 30 years, another younger woman in her earlier years of marriage got up and explained an activity her mom did for her dad around Valentines Day for as long as she could remember.  She called it "Be My Valentine."

"Be My Valentine" starts on the first day of February (tomorrow!!!) and lasts until the day right before Valentines Day.  Each day, beginning with February 1st, you do something special for your husband.  This could be making his coffee in the morning or warming up his car, maybe cooking his favorite meal or writing him a love letter.  All creative things that I'm not good at doing, so I was soooo thrilled when she gave us a list of brainstormers that served as possible ideas!  You could use the actual letters from the words "Be My Valentine" and each day give him a letter with something special about him starting with that letter along with a piece of his favorite candy.  The possibilities really are endless, and what's great is it's personal and individual based on what your husband would find meaningful.  "And remember," she told us, "it's not about getting something in return.  This is all about serving your husband without expecting something back from him.  Do it simply for the reason that you love him, and want to show him through these small gestures."  Good point to remember!

So here I am, with tomorrow being February 1st, about to engage in what I am calling 14 Days of Love (even though the letters "Be My Valentine" really only are 13 letters, I'm going to include the 14th as well).  These next days leading up to Valentines Day I will be intentional about doing something, however big or small, that speaks to who he is as my husband and why I love him. 

I'll let you know how it goes, and if you have any ideas, pass them my way!

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