New York New Jersey

 

And just like that…  We’re off again!

Two weeks ago, David was on a plane to the New York region for an interview.  We were excited at the possibility of a promotion and a new adventure, but realistic at the fact that there were four other guys interviewing and the New York region was far, far, far away.  We didn’t think too long about it.  It’s always good experience to interview, right?

We prayed.  We prayed hard, knowing that a transition like this is life changing.  Selling a home, finding a new home, leaving our church, our friends, our life/community group, raising our daughter…  The list goes on and on.  I prayed and prayed the Lord would shut it down quickly if this opportunity were not from Him.  I prayed the decision makers in New York would make the right decision for their region.  I also prayed that if this was where God was leading us that it would be obvious to the region and us and there would be no confusion.

The day of David’s interview came and as we Face-Timed on the phone that night, I learned he had eight interviews with the NY management.  I was encouraged by the sincerity the region was taking by having that many people take time out of their day to meet with the candidates.  I was hopeful that if this was not the right fit, surely eight people would see that… And vice versa.

David flew directly from the interview to San Antonio Texas (the life of a Field Traveler… Always on the run!) for another work event, so I assumed it would be towards the end of the week before he heard anything.  I continued to pray.  I halfway expected him to call and tell me he didn’t get it, but then I also expected him to say that he was chosen and we were moving.  Needless to say I just didn’t know what to expect!

That Thursday morning, while sitting at my desk at work evaluating survey questions and media placements, David called and told me he got the job.  “Oh my gosh,” I responded.  “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!  Oh. My. Gosh.”

Since then it’s been a series of unknowns as we work out the details of moving cross-country.  I’ve always known this was the life of a field traveler’s wife…  But it all happened so fast!  I’m still agape as I think about it all.

Next week David begins our east coast adventure while I close out things here in Portland.  He’ll be working in the New York region with the same automotive company, but the office is technically in New Jersey.  We’re still uncertain where we’ll be living, but we’re pretty certain it will be on the Jersey side.  David will be working with dealers in New York state.

Thanks for taking this journey with me!  I covet your prayers as we make this transition as a new family and embark on an adventure to the east coast.

Maya

Image Source via Pinterest

I couldn't write about it.

Hardly could talk about it.

Couldn't even say it.

About eight months ago I found out that I'm pregnant.

I felt like I had this enormous secret, and usually secrets are shameful or bad.  This secret was totally the opposite, but it wasn't a planned secret like a surprise birthday party or something.   I was completely, utterly, entirely shocked and surprised when those two little lines appeared.  Flutters of emotions filled me.  Obviously shock was one of them... Then fear and uncertainty followed by excitement and joy.  We were having a baby!  Oh my goodness!  Isn't this what I've always dreamed about?  Yes.  Then why can't I talk about it?  Why can't I even say the word?

My mail order birth control that had steadily come every three months for three years had abruptly stopped, even after I'd just renewed it.  Since I was coming off an 11 day business trip followed by my brother's wedding in California, I was irresponsible and neglected to call to see what was going on until we got back from our trip.  I thought it wouldn't matter since my husband was a field traveler and with all our combined travel, there really wasn't much time for stuff to happen...  Wrong.

"I don't think you're pregnant," David said as he stood in the bathroom looking at the test for me (because I was too in shock to even look at it).  "The plus sign is very faint."

The "plus" sign?!

I went back to the store and bought three more tests.  Tests with lines this time.  Each one confirmed two lines.  Pregnant.  And I couldn't even say the word.

It wasn't because I was upset.  It wasn't because I was unhappy.  I truly just did not know why this happened-- right now.  Yes, I knew HOW it happened :) but the why I was still uncertain of.  All our friends and family knew we were not in the baby ready phase.  Sure, if David had approached me with an earnest desire to start a family I would have jumped at the thought and obliged happily...  However, this wasn't the case.  We had a plan, a schedule-- a direction we were moving in.  A baby was not in those plans for at least another year.  I felt like I was sitting on a huge secret and I couldn't begin to talk about it, let alone blog about it.  What would I say?  Thoughts of working vs. staying at home, our plans of a spring trip to Europe, our five year anniversary (it's in our VOWS we would wait five years!!!) and our happy-as-it-is-right-now marriage flooded my heart and mind.  When you talk about having a baby, aren't you supposed to be crazy happy, excited, planning the nursery, picking out names and filling a registry?  I already felt like a bad mother since I could hardly whisper the words...  I'm pregnant.  We're going to have a baby.

David and I decided to wait to tell friends and my work until after the three month mark.  This also would allow us some time to think about what we wanted to do when it came to my job.   We called our parents and siblings and of course I told Krista and a few other people ahead of time.  Everyone was thrilled for us.  It made it easier to feel like it was real talking about it with the people close to us.  Our secret began feeling more and more like a treasure even though I didn't feel any different (thankfully!) and didn't look any different either.

It was just before our four-year anniversary trip to the Grand Canyon when the three month mark hit.  I was nervous to tell my boss since I was so uncertain about what I wanted to do with work once the baby arrived. Being the first woman to go through this in our company, I didn't have any previous steps to follow, but they were so gracious towards me when they heard the news.  I was told to just wait and think about it, they didn't need to know what my post-baby work plans were immediately.  Thank you whispered from my heart to heaven as I remembered everything is safe.

Every morning as my belly grew I lifted the little gift growing inside of me up to Him.  Suddenly I found myself surprised not because I was carrying this precious little one but because of how much I loved this baby.  My heart was already so full with having an amazing husband, family, friends and church... But somehow God had opened my heart to make room for this humongous growing love for someone I hadn't even met yet.  Still haven't met, actually.  6 more weeks :).  It still amazes me how quickly this secret-turned-treasure-turned-LOVE has manifested. 

I tell this story cautiously, because I never want my little girl to look back and wonder if I wanted her.  I've always wanted her, even from when I was 5 years old playing with my dolls.  I just had no idea God wanted her to come now.  It's also why I've taken a break from blogging...  I couldn't write without talking about how my heart feels about this gift I've been given and the emotions I've had along the way. 

Some things are just in His timing always.  I had called the birth control company right when we got home from California, and a day after I found out I was pregnant, the missing birth control showed up in the mail.  A week later, I received a letter from the birth control company advising the pills they had been sending were in the wrong order... And I may be pregnant.  I laughed and thought, I definitely am and wow, it probably would have happened anyway!  God wants this little girl here right now... And so do I.

We can't wait to meet you Maya.  We are filled with joy just at the thought.

Bafney

I've called her Bafney ever since she was in kindergarten.

Harold Jun, this adorable little chubby boy in her class wrote her a love letter.  "Beer Bafney, I luv yoo" is how it started off.  I was 14 at the time, and found it completely and utterly sweet, not to mention hilarious.  The name stuck.

When SHE was 14, Bafney had surgery to address a scoliosis condition that wasn't correcting itself with wearing a brace or  physical therapy.  The surgery required 6 hours of being sliced open and attaching titanium rods to her spine, screwing them into her bones.

Not exactly what a 14 year old girl had in mind after 8th grade graduation.

I won't go into all the details of that surgery.  There were complications-- and even though she was at one of the most prestigious hospitals in Los Angeles and had one of the nations most respected spinal surgeons operating on her, it didn't go well.  The recovery was long.  She made it through of course.  She's a fighter and a winner but it wasn't fun. 

Needless to say, when she came home this summer with pain in her back, we were all a little concerned.  She'd been experiencing pain throughout the school year and upon further diagnosis with another phenomenal doctor, it was apparrent she needed surgery again...  This time to remove the rods.

I called my mom every hour it seemed while she was in surgery.  I wanted to be there so badly for her, but some things at work required of my schedule that I stay here in Oregon during the operation.  We were all praying that her spine had fused so that they didn't have to replace the rods with new ones.  We were praying for a speedy recovery.  For no complications.  For her spirits to remain high.  For her to come out of this with an even greater understanding of...  How much God loves her, even though he allowed this all to happen to her.

She walked the day after surgery.  She kept me posted on all her ups and downs, it was a gift to be able to share in this with her even if it was over phone and skype.  It's been a little over a week since she got out of this surgery, and I am so grateful that she is doing GREAT.  As we talked that night she came home from the hospital, "I'm feeling GREAT!" was her exclamation, as if an exclamation point was hanging in the proverbial air over our conversation.  Her voice sounded as if she was bouncing off walls.  She was walking around.  Talking, laughing, moving freely without pain.

My brother gave her this verse when she was going through some of the hard times with her back: 

"Then Job replied to the LORD, 'I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know'" (Job 42:1-3).

Perhaps this experience is something too wonderful for her to know-- perhaps God has so much more to teach her... Her strength is an inspiration to me and a wonderful reminder that no plan of the Lord's can be thwarted.  We asked why.  I'm sure she as heck asked why... Why twice?!  But who are we to obscure the Lord's counsel without devine understanding of all He has orchestrated.  His plan is far more wonderful than we can ever know.

Beer Bafney, I love yoo.  You are truly a gift.

Found Out

Funnies

This morning during my quiet time, I came across a passage that made me wince at the thought.

"...You may be sure that your sin will find you out" (Numbers 32:23, emphasis added).

It made me think...  What sin am I harboring?  Because it will come out!  I will be found out.

David.

Cain.

Rachel.

Jacob.

Adam and Eve...

Don't worry, I'm not hiding any crazy secrets or anything that I'm worried about being uncovered.  But it was a good, strong reminder that when we sin, we will be found out.  How often do I truly repent for my sin?  I'm ashamed to admit it's not very often.  My sin-- while maybe not as visible as David's affair with Bathsheba, or as violent as Cain murdering his brother, or as secretive as Jacob or Rachel's deceit, or as significant to mankind as Adam and Eve's decision... My sin is still, well, sin.  It still creates a need for justification. 

I'm found out.

Thank God he gave us grace, sufficient for us, covering multitudes of sin and is freely available to us. 

We serve a just God.  A faithful God.  A God who finds us out, but promises that we'll find Him when we seek Him with all our hearts.  "I will be found by you, declares the Lord" (Jer 29:13 emphasis added).

We will be found out.  So let's run and find Him.

***Thanks for reading!!!  My baby sister is going in for surgery tomorrow, so if you remember, please keep her in your prayers!***

Everything is Sacred

My Style via Pinterest

"One of the greatest hindrances to internal peace which the Christian encounters is the common habit of dividing our lives into two areas, the sacred and the secular... our inner lives tend to break up so that we live a divided instead of a unified life."  (p65, The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer).

Have you ever had "church friends" and "work friends"?

Or when you were in school, had "school friends" and "church friends"?

It was always hard for me to mix the two.  I always had a birthday party with either my "school" or "church" or when I started sports "swimming" friends growing up.  Never mix.  It didn't work.



Once I got into college, I began blending the worlds.  It was impossible not to because suddenly I had no "church" friends in Florida since I just moved there.  My world was the swimming world but I invited my "swimming" friends to come to church.  Suddenly I just had friends.  No distinction of the two.

Weekend rolls around.  I go out to the Late Night Library (library, haha) with the gals and have fun at a party down the street.  I don't drink, although I don't think there's anything wrong with alcohol (those of you who saw my wine rack know I have nothing against alchohol!).  I go to church.  Bible study.  Maybe friends come. Maybe they don't.  Amy always comes, drives me every Sunday.  I'm so grateful for her, my bosom friend and taste of heaven.  Then Monday comes and it's back to the books and swim practice and hanging out.

"Over against these sacred acts (going to church, bible study, etc...) are the secular ones.  They include all of the ordinary activities of life which we share with the sons and daughters of Adam: eating, sleeping, etc..." (p.65, Tozer).

My mom used to say that I could swim to the glory of God.  He made me good at swimming, so why not swim to his glory?  She said everything I did was an act of worship to Him.  As if sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner was making Him smile.  In my heart I knew she was right- but oh to live like this...

"This is the old sacred-secular antithesis.  Most Christians are caught in its trap,..  they cannot get a satisfactory adjustment between the claims of two worlds.  They try to walk the itght rope between two kingdoms and they find no piece in either" (p.65-66, Tozer).

Everything is sacred.

Everything. Is. Sacred.

Everything is a gift.  We are made to worship the one who loves and knows us unlike anyone else.  Who made us for his glory.  In and for all things.  We are his delight. 

Everything is sacred.

The dishes in the sink?  Wash 'em up.

Everything is sacred.

Laundry piles and an unmade bed?  Get going and clean up.

Everything is sacred.

Job calling you to work rather than facebook?  Stop wasting time and move!

Everything is sacred.

"Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through Him." ~Colossians 3:17

Thank You Lord.

Everything is sacred. :)

Bummers of Field Traveling

There are some bummers to field traveling.  While I love the perks, there are a few bummers of field traveling.

Disappointment.

I think David has the coolest job in the world-- for him.  From the time he was a kid he loved playing with toy cars.  When he got older he read car magazines.  He was probably the only fourth grader kid looking through the Auto-Trader.  Ask him the make and model of any car on the road, and he can tell you down to the year of the vehicle.  The man is crazy about cars, so it's awesome he's in a field he loves.  That being my disclaimer-- I'm of course happy for him that he gets to do what he enjoys.  Disappointed for me that he has to be away...

All. The. Time.

A few weeks ago we heard things were going to change up in the office, and there was a possibility (however rare the possibility, I still thought it was cause to do a mini celebration in my heart!) he could get a local district.  He'd be home every night.  Just the thought of it made me excited.  Then they made the announcement and he called and said "Don't be sad...."  Disappointment.  I'm still a little bit bummed.  Excited for him that he's has an opportunity to work with the different dealers, bummed for me that those different dealers don't happen to be local. 

The schedule.

Sometimes, the schedule can really work to our advantage.  Like when he had a meeting at a casino and spouses were invited to attend.  That was cool.  Or when he had another meeting in the mountains and again, spouses could attend so I happily tagged along.  That's fun.  But there are times when the schedule totally messes with us!  Just today he called to say that with this recent move, he now had an important event to attend that coincided with a mini vacay we'd planned to take in October.  Given that this event only happens once a year and we can postpone our trip, we decided it might be best to reschedule our vacation. 

The traffic.

His work requires a ton of windshield time.  Sure, he gets a lot of phone calls out of the way, but when what would normally be a 3 hour drive turns into a 6 hour drive because you hit traffic in two metropolitan areas, the wife starts to wonder where he could possibly be on a Friday night?!  Still driving?!  Craziness.  I thought we moved away from traffic!

All this being said I am blessed that my man loves what he does and is happy with his work.  =)

Everything is Safe

"Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed" (pg. 20, The Pursuit of God; A.W. Tozer).



This is what resonated with me throughout Tozer's book.  Commit it to him.  Everything is safe when we commit it to the Lord.  My job?  Safe.  My desire for kids?  Safe.  My sister's surgery?  Safe.  Our life in Oregon?  Safe.  The weather?  SAFE!!!  Everything is safe when we commit it to him.  Oh why is it so hard to remember this? 

You want peace?

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe.

You need rest?

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe.

You need contentment?

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe.

"God is here.  Wherever we are, God is here.  There is no place, there can be no place, where He is not" (p. 36, Tozer).

He's everywhere.  He knows everything.  He's here when we are completely unaware of it and the whole "universe is alive with His life" (p.41).  So why is it so hard to commit it to Him?

Everything is safe when we commit it to Him. 

Everything. Is. Safe.

Every time, all the time.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:7

Commit it to Him.  Everything is safe. :)