2 Month Hiatus: Ivanka vs. Anne

These are the books on my nightstand.  Yes, that's Ivanka Trump in there.  But wait, there's Anne Voskamp in there too, and Michael Phelps and Timothy Keller...

It's happening again. 

Just when I finally think I can get my arms wrapped around balancing work and home, I get the notion that I can somehow be a super woman and do it all.  Like Ivanka Trump.  Or Anne Voskamp.  Two amazing women, in entirely different ways.

Perfect manager.  Doting wife.  Rockstar at the office.  Martha Stewart in the kitchen.  HGTV gal.  A real life "Apprentice." Community group, maybe highschool youth group, 20's group, hopeful junior college instructor, gym lifer, healthy eater...  The list goes on and on and on.

I want to do it all.

Somewhere inside I tell myself I can, I will, and I must-- be excellent at everything.  I envision everything I want and tell myself I won't have to sacrafice anything to get it.

Room mom (someday).  Soccer mom (someday).  Meal plans.  Clean house.  Bible studies.  Deep friendships.  Intimate marriage. God time. Blogging time.  Social time.  Family time.  Work time.  Growing career.  Busy days, filled with...

I've already talked about being busy.  Yet somehow, this struggle between managing my life, resting in the Lord and my career continues to surface and has been ever so prevalent over my 2 month hiatus.  I'm conflicted, and it shows... Even by what I've been reading.

Ivanka.  Here's a gal who's actually a rock solid business woman, indpendent of her last name.  She can work the sale and close a deal just like her father and she was one of the youngest executive VP's in the country for a major corporation a few years back.  She's got an impressive education and her work experience is totally legit.

She also works on the weekends and leaves for work 2 hours before her start time.  She's married to her job.

Anne.  She's a stay at home mom, mother of six and wife of a farmer.  I can't relate at all.  She's a woman who discovered the path to Eucharisteo, the table of thanksgiving.  A holy experience.  Each mundane task is received as a gift, each dish washed and laundry basket is tended to with a spirit of gratitude for the opportunity to give glory to the One who made and loves us.  I feel safe reading her words, humbled and completely out of place. 

She doesn't have a glamorous high rise in Trump tower in New York City.  She works weekends, nights, mornings, pretty much never gets a break but she's married to a farmer, not a job and her work is her family- whom she adores.  Grace, thanksgiving, joy.

I'll talk a bit more about this internal conflict tomorrow, but for now...

Ivanka vs. Anne... I'm certain that I don't have to choose one way over the other, but I'm not quite sure if I can have my cake and eat it too. 

How do you manage work and home?  What works best for you?  As I struggle to balance these things, I pray that God would lead my heart... And yours too :)

2 Month Hiatus: Houses and Homes

Thank you to everyone who is "Yay'ing or Nay'ing"!  If you haven't voted yet, click here to leave a comment and "yay" or "nay"!

Something I learned over my 2 month hiatus if that I really do love real estate.  Houses.  Homes.  All of the above.

At first I thought I was interested solely because my husband is drawn to it.  He started buying property before we were ever married or even knew each other, before the market tanked and before he became a field traveler.  While our investments are both a blessing and a headache, real estate has become a fun and interesting hobby of mine.  I love looking at new and old homes and dreaming away. I enjoy determining if I think it would be a good investment.  I LOVE finding ways of updating and creating something new out of old walls. I thrive on reading design and house blogs and then in my spare time, little by little putting into practice what I've learned.

Why?!

Because life starts at home.

I love going through open houses and experiencing someone's life there; then envisioning my own within those walls.  I enjoy hearing house-hunting friends' wish lists and dreams of what their home will be like.  I occasionally pop onto RMLS to check out whats for sale and always walk in an open house in our neighborhood if there's one going on.  Not because I'm not content where I'm at.  I love our home like Paula Deen likes butter. 

Why then?!

Because life starts at home.

Home is where everything happens.  The walls of our homes endure our tears, our excitement, our joy and anger, our accomplishments and disappointments.  Home is supposed to be a haven where we are safe to just be, to let our guard down and open up.  Home is where the people we love are.  It's where we should want to be and look forward to returning to after a long day at work.  It's where we dream and plan and rest.  To me, it's the most meaningful and the most sacred of all places.  It's where precious life happens!

Maybe that's why I enjoy beautifying our house and starting improvement projects.  Maybe it's why I constantly move furniture and rearrange things.  Maybe it's why I'm constantly in conflict between career and home and finding balance between both...

During my 2 month hiatus I finished painting the kitchen.  I'll show you pics here shortly, stay tuned!  It looks like country farmhouse meets polished Portland :).  I hung a chalkboard.  I painted my kitchen island BLUE.  I made rolled flowers again.  I enjoyed playing house in our home.  All these pictures you see are "before" pictures- before all the improvements that I'll share here soon, the risks and mistakes and small victories we've made here!  That's what home is- a place to be creative and take risks and just be who you are- content with where you are- because it's the place where it's safe to just be.

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 Alicia, a dear friend of mine and also my realtor, recently made a bold move and went out on her own in the Real Estate biz.  Don't worry, I'm not trying to sell you anything and she honestly doesn't know I'm writing about her in this post (sorry Alicia, I can't talk about my love of real estate and homes without bringing you up!) but I have to tell you, if you're thinking of selling or purchasing a home, Alicia is amazing.  In a spicy garlic shrimp kind of way (more to come on that soon!).  She treats everyone like they're her only client (and she has many!!!).  She has the experience and knowledge that are hard to come by in this industry. She found us our home now, when we we're on a tight budget and crunched for time (can I just say $8k tax credit?!) and landed us in a house perfect for us in a neighborhood we are thrilled with.  And she would do the same for you because she just rocks like that.

Again, I'm not trying to sell you Alicia but I just had to mention her amazingness because without her, I don't think we'd be where we're at.  We love our home.

Why do you love your home? Is it the people that live there, the architecture, maybe both?!  Whatever it may be, you can have your perfect home right now no matter where you are...  because life starts at home.

***And if you haven't voted yet, click here to comment on this post to "yay" or "nay".  40 'yay' votes gets my husband to blog for 1 month and I'd love to read what he has to write.***

2 Month Hiatus & Wine "Yay or Nay" 40



Well hello dear blogger friends.  I've missed you so!

2 months have passed and not a word on the web.  I haven't been "super busy" or "stressed" or "unable to handle my life" (for the most part!)...  Just full to the brim-- so much so that writing took a back seat for a bit. Sometimes I wish I had a mother duck like the sign above, someone to lead and mentor me as a wife, worker, friend, family member, etc...  That sign is right outside our neighborhood and it doesn't lie- you will actually see ducks crossing exactly where that sign is on the road.  And they always follow one another.  In this season of rest that I've been in I've noticed that I don't really rest very well.  I'm constantly looking ahead, wondering what's next, mitigating through decisions that maybe aren't even mine to make quite yet.  All these things and more while I was on a 2 month hiatus from writing. (So much for the goal of blogging 2x/week! I'll get back into it.)

I did learn over the past two months, however, that I truly do LOVE TO WRITE.  I missed it dearly.  So much so I've committed to writing every week day for the rest of June, to get reacquainted with you all and the pen (or keyboard I guess I should say).  So here is the first of what I'm calling the "2 Month Hiatus" series in which my two months of writing hiding are followed by two straight weeks of writing, writing and more writing! I'm writing for 2 straight weeks, every week day.  So here's to hello.  It's nice to meet with our coffees (or wine)  in hand over the world wide web and catch up!

During my hiatus, we had Memorial Day.  At the Lillard home, that always means wine tasting.  And when I say always, I mean since we moved to Oregon.  We never were into wine until we moved.  If you gave David wine when we were in California, he was always passing it off or looking for a Red Bull and vodka instead.  Wine was definitely not our thing.  "Cough syrup" is what he called it.

When we moved to Oregon, suddenly we were surrounded by the Willamette valley in one direction, Columbia valley in the other.  David's dealers sponsored wine events.  It was only a 20-30 minute drive to get out to rolling vineyards.  We could literally drive home from church on Sunday and stop by a winery on the way home.

Suddenly David started bringing home wine.  At first, it was wine he'd received as a gift from the dealerships he was working with.  Then slowly, over the course of the first year, he'd start buying bottles that he'd tasted at dinners or on the road.  When he was home, we'd open up a bottle over dinner and he'd share its story.  "This was my favorite at L'Ecole" or "Jeremiah said you'd like this Orange Muscat" he'd say.  It quickly became a hobby.  Now David can taste a wine and tell you what kind it is.  He's kind of crazy like that.  He'll know if it's a Zinfandel or Malbec.  He can tell between a Syrah and Merlot.  Well, most of the time he can.

Me on the other hand, I'm still learning.

Then last weekend when our friends Michelle and Kevin were visiting, we went to Powell's books (if you've never been there, please come visit and we can go.  It's Portlandia amazing) and David bought a book.

For those of you who know David, he doesn't read.

At all.

Okay well maybe he reads the newspaper and the bible.  But that's about it.

Guess what the book was about?!

Wine.  He bought a book about wine.  And he's been reading it!!!

We were on a plane out to Orlando earlier this week and he was reading on the plane.  He even read the section on Champagne.

"But you don't even like champagne," I said to him.  "Are you going to skip this part?"

"No," he replied.  "I want to read through the whole thing.  It's kind of fun learning about all the different varietals and grapes."

"Well why don't you write about it?" I asked. "You'd be so good at writing about different wines!  And I would love to read what you have to say.  It would be fun!"

I'm not sure that he appreciated my enthusiasm, because he responded:

"If the people who read your blog think that a wine blog would be interesting, then I'll do it for a month," he said.

"Oh you're on," I replied.  I totally thought I had him...  But wait for it...

"But only if you can get 40 people to 'nay' or 'yay'.  Deal?!"

I stared at him with my wine in hand.  Nay or yay?  What the heck?

"What are you talking about," I asked.  "Nay or yay?  Like you mean you want people to say nay or yay against you writing a blog for a month?"  Tsk-tsk.  I felt his competitive spirit coming on.

"Exactly," he said.  "If you can get 40 people to comment on your blog and say 'yay' or 'nay' to whether or not a wine blog would be cool then I'll write one for a month."  He grinned  a purple teeth grin (we were in the middle of tasting a Malbec- and a yummy Malbec it was).

"You've got yourself a deal," I shot back at him.  This is going to be a challenge, I thought to myself.  40 comments?!  I don't even know if 40 people have even looked at my blog!  And why 40?  What's the significance to that?  He said he picked a number that was out of the range of possibility (What a supporting man he is, eh?!)

So friends...  Will you join me on this?  Will you 'yay' or 'nay'?!

40 comments is all it takes, and David will blog for a MONTH about his wine adventures.  I would love to read about these adventures, because he's full of interesting knowledge about the wine he drinks and also because he's just so darn hilarious when he talks about wine.  Will you join me? I have till the end of June.  If 40 people yay or nay by the end of the month, my hubby will write wine and I will be able to read all about it.  You can read about it too because if I win this challenge, I'm going to set him up with his own blog (that he'll write on for a month.  But who knows?! Maybe he'll enjoy it and stick with it!).  David doesn't read or write (normally) so I think it would be fun to hear what he has to say.  And this might be my only chance. :)

Comment below the word 'yay' if you think it's a good idea, and 'nay' if you don't.  No hard feelings either way.  I'm just hankering to get to 40 so I can read what my man writes!

As always, thanks for reading.  I've missed spending time over this virtual space and am looking forward to getting reacquainted with you all. :)

If I'm Honest....

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I have totally fell off the band wagon.

I ate pizza tonight from Costco (sooooo good, but soooooo processed and un-natural).  I haven't planned a meal in weeks.  I made chicken drumsticks when a our group from church came over and it was an epic slimy fail (buffalo wings are supposed to be crispy, not gooey).  Our bedroom is a MESS.  I mean, a complete HOT MESS.  It really is.  I haven't vacuumed it in... Um, okay so I'm being honest which means I can't remember!  David said he found a hairball (my hair, clumping up on the carpet because I haven't vacuumed in forever).  The laundry is like halfway up the side of the wall and creeping towards the ceiling and our bathroom is disgusting.  I haven't spent time in God's word... Opening the word to read a few sentences so I don't feel guilty about not following through on my goal is legalistic and no where near what the goal intended to accomplish.  I haven't even started the last hot spot of project simplify (which now I have realized after writing all this that it should be my bedroom because of all these piles and hairballs).  What is wrong with me?!

Lately I've been making excuses for myself.  I'm so busy with work, I'll tell myself.  Or, I'm just so dang tired, besides I went to the gym so at least I did something good for myself!  Or my personal favorite-- I've worked hard all day the last thing I need is to come home and do all this house junk!  House junk?  Who even talks like that anyway?!

*Sigh.*

Last weekend my most favorite realtor in the world and friend had free tickets to go see Dave Ramsey.  I have read about him on all the mom and christian blogs, my parents looooove him and ever since we moved up here from CA all I'd see at the churches we visited were his Financial Peace University advertisements.  I was skeptical, because what could this guy possibly have to say that I didn't know already or that would change the way I think.  My parents raised me with good financial values and dispositions towards generosity and giving, however I know this is an area for improvement in my life.  It is one I think of all the time actually.  So I thanked her for the tickets and we were on our way to see the financial guru of the century, Dave Ramsey.

I am now a die hard fan.  I want to read his book.  I won't enroll in his Financial Peace classes, however, I am a believer that he truly is honest about who he is and what he's trying to do.  We didn't stay for the whole thing.  But one thing stood out to me:

As Christians, we should aim for excellence in every area of our lives.

Every area?!  You saw my first paragraph.  I am a hot mess with laundry creeping up the walls to the ceiling.  This is not excellence.

I have fallen off the band wagon...  Time to get back on the horse.  Excellence, Rachel.  Not perfection.  Just excellence.  You are better than that hairball on the carpet. :)  Come on girl, you got this!

Project Simplify Week 4: Fridge

I skipped Project Simplify week 2 (paper) and 3 (kid's toys) because they didn't really apply to me all that much.  But week 4- the refrigerator definitely applies!  Thankfully I keep my fridge pretty clean so there wasn't any sticky yucky grossness to get rid of, but it was a good opportunity for me to do a quick anti-bacterial swipe and take a look at what's being used and going to waste.

I wish I had one of those beautiful stainless steel fridges with the freezer on the bottom like my friend Krista. Mine is a side by side in the cream color. It's not stainless steel but I am thankful for it! It came with our house. I'm not very organized with my fridge. I have a cheese drawer but other than that everything goes wherever you can find room. Cleaning out and organizing the fridge was good for me!



 

I used my handy lysol wipes and got that thing clean.  I love lysol wipes.  

Then I took everything out, just like Simplemom recommended to do and evaluated if it was something I needed/wanted.  Like marachino cherries.  TOSS! I rearranged and made more room for things.

We realized how much fresh vegetables and fruits we had on hand, and not wanting them to go to waste we decided to go on a "clean" diet and only eat frutis, veggies and nuts the next day.

Look at all that Alaskan smoked salmon!  There is a perk to having a husband who goes to Alaska so often.  :)

Look at all that room! :)  Like with my home, that doesn't mean I should fill it with more stuff.  I'm making room for the good stuff that should live in my fridge like fresh local produce and meats rather than junk like marachino cherries and Margarita mix (I tossed the margarita mix after I took this pic).

I'm on a year-long goal of trying to eat more "natural" which in my definitition means less processed and more whole foods.  More prep, no more from a box or a jar.  It's been okay, but it is so easy to buy processed food and eat it rather than prepare a meal after a long day at work.  This exercise in simplifying helped me realize how far I have come but how much farther we have to go with that goal of mine.  All in all, I am thankful for my newly simplified refrigerator. :)



Cash vs. Credit Cards

In January, David and I decided to go on a budget. 

We set up a simple spreadsheet and allocated numbers to different categories.  It's super novice, but it was a start.

For the first three months of the year, I've been paying with cash.  Grocery store?  Cash.  Target?  Cash.  Out to dinner?  Cash.  My wallet made room for wrinkled envelopes as I pulled a 30-something Michelle Dong (my beloved mama) and paid in cash.  She taught me well.  It's true-- it's certainly hard to part with cash!



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David was supportive, although after two weeks he said it felt like we'd been on a budget all year.  "We have," I said.  "2011 just started!"  He didn't think that was very funny. 

He's been on board with me paying with paper rather than pulling out plastic, but he kept saying how we miss out on all these great rebates by not using credit cards.  For example, he uses credit cards for all his work travel, hotels and meals when he's on the road.  We get a rebate on that card-- and I get free starbucks because of it!  He'd have to spend that money anyway (or at least his company would), so we might as well get a rebate on it, right?  There's a point to his logic I guess.

Everyone says paying with cash is mentally more "intentional" and painful (yikes!).  No one likes to pull out three twenties to buy a pair of shoes-- they litterally watch the money leave their pockets!  But plastic- credit cards- painless.  Swipe, sign, smile.  Much easier to swipe a card then to count a bunch of ones to see if you have enough.  At least you know if you have enough.



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We decided for the next three months we'd go back to credit cards and see how we do.  We've always paid off our credit cards in full every month, but will it be easier or harder to track if we're on budget?  Will saving receipts work?  Will we spend more?  Less?  The same?  We were under budget every month while using cash.  Can we do it with credit cards too?

I guess we'll see.

Friday Night Cheesecake

"That cheesecake you made last weekend was sooooo good," He smiles at me while he's blurring up his protein shake in the blender.  Home from a long week in Alaska and grateful for weather above freezing temperatures, my husband and I have our ritual debrief of the week while we each make our own Friday night meal.

"I'm glad you liked it!  I love making cheesecake!"  I reply.  After a successful turnout for Krista's birthday, cheesecake has been a treat I'm no longer fearful to take on.

"I think we should make another one." Bluuurrrrrhhhhh, chuuuuuuug, slurrrrrrp goes the blender.

"I don't have anymore cream cheese.  I can get some this weekend if you want though," I comment as I microwave my peas and pasta sauce.  David begins pouring his creation into a huge big gulp 7-11 cup. He takes a long gulp through his straw and I notice he's got protein shake sprayed on his eyelid.  I laugh and tell him to close his eyes while I try to gently scrape it off his eye.  Then his cheeks.  Oh, one more spot-- his nose.

"Let's go to Winco tonight at come home and make one!"  he says with his eyes still closed as I'm  seriously trying to scrape the small dots of sprayed protein shake off his eyelid.  How the heck did this protein shake spray all over?  Why did it dry so fast-- on his face?!  I think this to myself and then realize he is serious, he really wants me to make a cheesecake.  Tonight.  And it's already 8 o'clock and we just started eating dinner!  Cheesecake takes at least 45 minutes to bake after you make it and we haven't even gone to the store yet.

At this moment I had a choice.  Okay, so it wasn't that big of a deal, it's a cheesecake for goodness sake.  He probably wouldn't have really cared either way.   But I still had a choice: honor my man by going with him to the store so we make his indulgence-- or whine about how by the time we come home from shopping and make it then bake it...  Blah blah blah.

So, we went to the store.

We made a cheesecake... Together.  David make an awesome walnut crust with bran.  Okay, so he likes to experiment with food.  :)  It turned out and it was lovely.

Sometimes there is joy in going to Winco on a Friday night at 9:00.  It took a character check on my part, though.  Be here, present for the small things like making a cheesecake.  I'm so glad I didn't let that pass me by.

One of my goals for 2011 is to find joy in something-- every day.  Joy in a cheesecake. 

Yum. :)