Indefinite Home

Oh travelling... I don't know how David does it! We just got back from NYC a couple weeks ago and in two days I am back on the plane to go to CA for the weekend. Two weeks after that, we are leaving again for a weekend trip. And to think he does this all the time, every week. When he travels to Alaska, he flies every day! Whew. It is so much fun and I love being on the go. But I also love to be home. And now that David and I have a real, true home that is ours, I enjoy it so much.

Home has changed every few years for me since I turned 18. My first two years of college, home was a girls dorm room across the street from the gym and pool at Washington State. I shared a room with Taryn, the best roommate in the world and ate meals in what we called the "barfe" (well, it was a buffet, but whatever). Every Tuesday night us freshman swim team gals would sit around the table in the barfe and watch "Felicity" after a long practice. Home was just being around those precious girls in the Regents dorm.

Two years later-- junior year of college I found myself transferring to Florida State. Two of my teammates also transferred there (half our Washington State swim team transferred due to some coaching trouble) and we rented an apartment across the street from Doak Campbell Stadium. We could litterally hear the tailgating from our porch. Home was our little, humble abode on Jackson Bluff Road on the 3rd story, left side. I had an air mattress. Katie brought a couch (soooo comfortable in comparison to my ridiculous air mattress) and Andre-Anne brought all her amazing French Canadian recipes (squeaky cheese? YUM). Us three went through boyfriends, classes, training for NCAA's and ACC's, weekend parties and/or late night chats. We shared everything. Home was friendship; precious friendship with these amazing gals who became my sisters.

After graduation I moved back into my parents house in California while I went to grad school. This time being "home" was temporary because it was my parents' house and not my own space, but it was also pretty 'final' in the location because I knew I would be staying in California indefinitely. I met David, fell in love... I moved to my own small studio apartment (I still call it my "130 Roycroft studio") down by the beach. I still miss that adorable studio. I walked everywhere. I went for runs on the beach. I people watched. I learned to cook. I lived from paycheck to paycheck but managed to save money too. I loved my little home. David surprised me in that small apartment and brought me over my first Christmas tree. We still have that tree and I love unpacking it each year and remembering David walking through the door with a huge box on his shoulder... A Christmas tree for me, for us to enjoy when we were at 130 Roycroft.

Who knew that just a few years later we'd move to Torrance, in our first apartment and then a year later book it to Oregon in our first house. When I look back over all the moves, all the "homes" and all the places we've lived, it's clear to me that home is really where the people you love are. I didn't love Regents dorm, and our Jackson Bluff apartment was on the 3rd floor (try moving a couch and an air mattress in the Florida heat! Ok, well the air mattress wasn't that hard. But the couch?!). Moving back in with my parents, finding my own lovely studio, cramming into a small apartment in the southbay, and jetting up a couple states were all precious, sweet moments of life because they were shared with people I love.

Now that we have an indefinite timeline of how long we'll be here at this home, I am happy to just BE. I am so content to just take a deep breath and know this place is where God has put us for however long he wants us here. I don't doubt he will move and shake us again, but for now I know this is where he wants us. And it's weird. It's weird to me that I'm so happy here. It's weird to me that I am beginning to like our life better here than I did in California. It's strange that we are growing so much and learning more than ever. It's oddly amazing.

People say travelling gives you a deeper respect and appreciation for culture, opens your eyes to the world and is an amazing part of experiencing life to the fullest. I believe all those things. I also think that travelling has enabled David and me to appreciate home. To savor our time. To experience something indefinite. Travelling, while taking David into the field each week-- has actually brought us closer. I look forward to the time when he won't be field travelling and will be home with me each night, but I am grateful for this time. Even if it is but for short breath in our life, I am home and I love it. :)

Summer

Oh sweet summer, how I love you.

Summer is definitely my favorite time of year. Since I moved to the northwest, I especially love summer because the days last so darn long. In the middle of July the sun will go down just before 10 p.m. and it stays WARM all night. It is delightful, and I love it.

Summer also means that people come to visit, or we leave to go on trips. Just last weekend Jake and Beth, my bro and sis came to visit us. I was sooo honored to have them come up. The fact that they bought plane tickets and took time off of work to come up and see David and me spoke volumes to my heart. There are few people in the world that know you like your siblings do. This weekend was just so special to me, to have the two people who I've shared pretty much my entire life with hang out and just share time together was so sweet. I cherished every moment of it; because the older we get I know the fewer and fewer of these moments we'll share. Summer brings those special kind of times.

Summer also means it's David's birthday. Oh yes, this year he turned 29!!! He said it was the last birthday he'll ever have. :) To celebrate, we had a wine tasting party at our house. It was so much fun. We had all the field travellers over, and friends from church, and Jake and Beth. Everyone brought over a bottle of wine, and Beth bagged it so we couldn't see the label. After tasting a bunch of the wine, we voted on our favorite. It was a blast! But hands down the funniest part of the evening was the birthday cake. Oh David. Only David would ask for a BANANA BRAN cake. There is no recipe for this... People make banana bran bread, or banana bran muffins, but not banana bran CAKE! And four layers no less. Yes, the man asked for a four layered, banana bran cake with cream cheese icing. So what did the field traveller's wife do?! She made it! And it was hilarious, because it was just so David. Only David. Yes, Summer means it's David's birthday... And this year it will be remembered by wine tasting and banana bran cake.

All in all, it has been an amazing summer. Sweet, special time with family, celebrations, bike rides, farmer's markets, berries, wine... Now that David and I are our own little family we get to make summer mean something new to us. If it means banana bran cake and wine, then that's ok with me...

Busy

Being busy. Isn't it annoying that everyone around us is always busy?! It's like we are all so important with so many crazy cool things to do that we are in a constant state of busy-ness. I hate this. Are we really that important that we are always "too busy" or jammed packed full?! Unfortunately yours truly is the worst culprit of this. At work I have "too much" going on to stop and connect with the people I work with-- the people who I spend the most of my waking hours with. That is just not right! If I spend 40 hours with these people I should be investing in relationship with them, but no, I am too busy.

My husband often gets the tail end of my attention during the work week because I am so busy with the house and emails and trying to organize my life to sit and have a non-multiple-tasking conversation with him while he's away. What is wrong with this picture? My husband calls to spend time with me, even though it is conversation time and not face to face, it is still time he is taking from his day to communicate and connect to me. And still I am just "so busy".

Tonight a friend of mine came over because the gals from church were going to get together for cooking and movies, two of my favorite things! I had cancelled because I'm leaving for a work trip tomorrow and my flight leaves at 6 am, and I haven't packed or gotten any of the laundry done or exercised or blah blah blah (there I go again being busy!!!). Needless to say I forgot to tell her the gals weren't coming over and felt really bad when she showed up. She was so gracious and of course was super sweet and didn't make me feel bad, but I felt awful. Since when did I become so busy that I forgot about telling a friend something important? Normally I'd say I need a vacation! I'm just too busy! But this got me to thinking... I don't need a vacation. I need to make a choice. I need to choose to be disciplined in my time. This goes for spending time with my husband, time with Jesus and time with people. I walk around like I'm so important and that's why I'm so busy but in reality i have chosen this for myself. I have made myself this busy, and I need to choose if this is how I want to spend my time.

Time is so precious... Let's not waste it being busy.

Life Songs

Today I heard Switchfoot's song "Your Love is a Song" three times. Every time I got into my car and turned on the radio, that song was playing at the exact same spot. The third stanza where he sings "Your love is a symphony, all around me, running through me..." The second time I thought, this is weird, the exact same spot in the song, second time in a row, cool because I like this song. The third time, well, I am still wondering what God is trying to teach me through music. Or is it just a funny coincidence?!

Ever since I was a kid God has taught me things through music. Many times it's scripture being played in the tune of a song I love, and He reminds me of what His word says as I'm humming along. There are songs that I cherish because I feel they are a testament to what I strive to have my life mirror, even though I always fall short. When I'm stressed out at work I listen to the radio online and somehow just having those encouraging words in the background of my work are helpful to my day. I am so thankful God created music! "Your Love is a Song" reminded me that God is all around us, and His love is this perfect, beautiful stream that rushes towards us. I have a few old CD's that I made a couple years back with songs that I identify with and wanted my life to reflect. Here are just a few of my lifesongs that I pray my life can sing (in no particular order), because these words are so powerful and because each one has a story:



1. Spoken For- Mercy Me

I was in college when I fell in love with this song. Many of my girlfriends were dating, and I hardly was at all. I was always the type of gal who couldn't casually date. I tried, and it never worked. If I couldn't see it going beyond a few weeks, I couldn't run with it to "see where it goes". I wished I could be that girl, to date just to see what would happen. For some reason, my heart wouldn't let me casually involve myself because I didn't want to hurt anyone and I wanted to guard my heart. I used to pray that the first time I fell in love would be the last because I so dearly wanted my heart to be given to only one man. When I heard this song, I thought, this is so me! My heart is spoken for first by the lover of my soul-- Jesus! And then I met David, and he was the first and last man I gave my heart to. My husband, the only other who has my heart.

2. Carried Away- Sonic Flood

I just love the words. Check it out sometime. Jesus is the reason in my reason and I want to get carried away and jump into the life He has for me head first. It is an amazing song.

3. Magnificent Obsession- Steven Curtis Chapman

The title of this song says it all. What am I obsessed with? Mainly shoes... Okay I'm kidding, but my point is that many times I obsess over things that are meaningless. Let Jesus be my obsession, He is everything.

4. I want to Fall in Love with You- Jars of Clay

Probably my favorite lifesong. Let me fall more in love you Lord each and every day.

5. All Because of This- Mercy Me

Again, in college I found Mercy Me and immediately loved their music. This song is all about what this life means and who it all came from. It's all because of Jesus. Nothing else is here except for Him! I need to remember his unfailing love every day and hold onto it.

6. Lord have Mercy- Amy Grant & Michael W. Smith

My mom listened to Amy Grant when I was a kid, so I always had an affinity towards her and her music. I was so disappointed and sad when she got divorced. She was kind of like a small hero to me growing up because my parents had every album she every wrote and I heard her "grow up" through her music. This song is such a beautiful melody of God's forgiveness and mercy on us, a story of his love for us.

7. While I'm Waiting- John Waller

When we moved to Portland all I did was wait, or at least that's how I felt. In some ways, I still feel like I'm waiting but I think we will always be waiting for something... Waiting for heaven! Really though, throughout the move up here I really learned that God can teach us so much even through our wait. Wait upon the Lord is what His word says, and even in my waiting God encouraged me.

8. Speechless- Steven Curtis Chapman

I wish that every day I was speechless of God's love and grace. It really is amazing when I think about it, but I take it for granted so much. When I hear this song I want my life to be one of gratitude and awe of the amazing God we serve.

9. Be Still and Know that He is God- Steven Curtis Chapman

Sometimes I try to control things, and many times God just says "lay it down girl and let me do my thing!" Sometimes I just need to be still and know he is who he says he is, and he LOVES me.

10. Forever- Tim Hughes

Just the words of this song make me smile. Forever is going to be so cool in heaven.

11. I Will Hold On- Steven Curtis Chapman

Regardless of what life brings my way, I want to hold on to Jesus. It is much easier said than done. But that's why these are lifesongs, a GOAL of what I want my life to sing about. :)

12. Oh How the Years go by- Amy Grant

This song reminds me of my mom. Her best friend moved away when I was 10, and my mom cried and listened to this song. I know it sounds like a sad story, but I learned so much from mom at that point. Life keeps moving on, even when you want it to stand still. The life and love people bring to each stage of your life is something to be cherished and I have learned that myself in my 28 short years of life.

13. Where You Lead Me- Mercy Me

I hope that I will listen to where God leads me. I want to go where He is. I don't want anything less than His best!

Those are my lifesongs and a window into my soul.

Home :)

Home is different things to different people. To George Clooney on "Up in the Air", home was the airport, a plane, a hotel, anything that wasn't his actual mortgage. There was a familiarity with being unattached to the ground and on the go. That movie reminded me so much of my husband; I think he has actually quoted some of the lines from good ole George and he hasn't even seen the film! His field travelling creates cravings for the Doubletree cookies, a fondness for Neutrogena shampoo, credit cards with thousands of points, and a habit for not making the bed. Even though he's got a liking towards these things and hardly ever even fully unpacks his suitcase, he still tells me he loves being home. I smile when I hear him say "I'm ready to come home!"

When he actually gets home, however, sometimes it's a bit of adjusting. Sometimes it's been 4 days since we've slept in the same bed and been around each other. I've developed a habit for stealing the covers, which I guess is better than whacking him in the face in the middle of the night which used to be my routine. I would say "I can't help it! I'm just not used to you being there when I sleep!" That might sound completely messed up to other married people, but to you field travellers or significant others of field travellers-- you understand!

This week is month end, and David's cousin was in town over the weekend, so he is home all week. It is totally fun having the husband home because its so different! It reminds me of being a kid and when my dad would go away on a business trip, which he only did every few months. Those nights we'd get to stay up late and have a slumber party in mom's huge bed for the night. It's kind of like that when David is home for the week. I forgo the housework, get excited to get off work, and think about cooking something for dinner (gasp). One time David surprised me and came home a day earlier than expected. I was so excited I screamed, partly because I was so happy and partly because I didn't expect another person to be coming into the house. It is a lovely thing to be together in the evenings.

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on a real life together since he's gone so much, other times I feel like this is our life and it really is pretty amazing so I should be grateful we are so lucky. When he's home it's like a mini vacation (once we get used to each other again that is! :)) but then sometimes I just wish we had the regular every day stuff together. Like taking out the trash on Trash day, or watering the plants, watching the Biggest Loser, or him coming to watch me teach swim lessons one night. These are all things that happen during the week, when he's in the field and only gets to hear about how exciting my life is LOL. :) I want to play softball on a summer league or kickball or take ballroom dancing lessons but these are all things you do throughout the week too, and we can't do them together since he travels. One of his coworkers has been a field traveler for 10 years... Is this really our 5-10 year plan?

All that being thought and now said aloud on electronic paper, I am super happy that the man is home for the week. Even though it's month end and he won't be here until late tonight, he'll still be here for me to steal the covers from in my sleep. :)

David

Here he is, my favorite field traveller... My adorable husband David. Yes, that's a lot of wine in the picture! :) We went to a wine tasting event last weekend. One of the perks of being married to a traveller is that they make up for being gone by taking you on trips or weekend excursions with all their travel points! Oh David would probably disagree and say that he makes up for that in other ways 'wink wink' but that's just the guy in him coming out ha! We got to taste all the local Washington state wines that were being judged for awards. David was in heaven. He loves a good Syrah or Malbec. I can't believe I just said that. A year ago, before we moved here, we wouldn't have known the difference!

The trips and mini vacations are super fun, yet being married to a traveller brings its own set of interesting dynamics to marriage. Although we've been married for two and a half years, we've only just begun to get into the swing of being married. Every 6 months it seems we've had a big change occur and then it takes some time getting used to. We both have had huge job changes in the past year and a half, moved, bought a home, David finished his MBA... And now here we are, finally slowing down and just being in one place for a while. Getting used to just being and being okay with things staying the same for a bit. Figuring out each other when it's been four days since we've seen each other. For instance, we made a deal that Friday nights are chill nights, since that's when David comes home and he's tired of being out on the road and eating in restaurants. He just wants to chill and eat cereal on the couch. By Friday, I am ready to go out since I've been at home all week and am ready to go out on the town. So we compromised and Saturday is our night to go out. Or the fact that I am home so I'm constantly organizing and re-organizing our house, so when he comes home he can't find anything because most likely, I've moved it. He may come home and there's not much in the fridge, because either I haven't gone to the store or the food's gone bad since I'm the only one eating it (oh but there will always be cheese. I adore cheese. And berries too!). I wonder if these are normal things all couples deal with just on a different scale. Or is this just the life of a field traveller's wife?

I love this man so very much. I mean look at him, he's a hunk! :) Here he is outside on our deck, after we'd had dinner with friends outside on one of the few warm nights we've had here in Oregon. He even cleaned up the kitchen after dinner and went with me to a local farm to pick strawberries earlier in the day. What man will sacrafice a portion of his afternoon to pick berries for goodness sake?! This field traveller is a gem. And I am lucky to be his wife. :)

Community

It's Tuesday and I am still on a high from the weekend. Don't you love it when your weekend is so relaxing that by Tuesday you still feel refreshed?! I took last Friday off from work and slept in, drank coffee (one of my vices), worked out and then went to an event with David and the other field travelers and their wives. It was an event to celebrate the past year's service excellence for the dealers, so I got to meet a lot of the contacts that David works with on a daily basis. I also caught up with the other wives, met one of the guys' new girlfriends (she was super adorable and sweet) and ate this yummified shrimp pasta. And who can complain, who doesn't love a free cocktail party and an excuse to wear heels?!

I crave community. Community with friends, with God, at work, with my church. I am still in the process of building this here. As a field traveler's wife I feel like I do belong to a community, but that particular community is centered around my husband's job-- and job's come and go (hopefully it's here to stay for a while in this economy!). I crave the kind of community you share life with-- people you are silly and fun with but can be serious and possibly cry with. People you go grocery shopping with and out on the town with, people you have over for dinner and are okay with eating leftovers. The kind of people that are family without necessarily being from the same blood. I experienced this when I was in college. As a part of the swim team at Florida State, I was surrounded by a close group that did everything together. Amy Lo is still one of my best bosom friends that I talk to weekly. Those people were my family and we shared experiences that no one else will ever "get" or understand. Like I'm sure the term "RFOC" or "Greatest guy in the world" or "taste of heaven" doesn't mean anything to the next person, but it means the world to those of us who shared our every moment together swimming and sleeping and eating and goofing off. We were a tight knit group that trained, ate, slept, laughed, screamed mad and got super silly with each other all day every day. After college it's different. It's not as convenient to hang out when everyone has jobs or boyfriends/husbands and then before you know it start having kids. You have to put effort into your friendships or they begin to slowly fade away, and then suddenly the group of amazing besties that you shared life with for 4 years is all over the globe and facebook is the only way you keep in touch (I love facebook, but it's not my idea of real community). It becomes more of a challenge to get out and meet new people and stretch outside our little box. I don't want to be like this. I want to feel uncomfortable and slightly out of place, because that means I'm expanding my ideals, reaching out to new people. I want my home to be a warm, fun place to be real with each other. That is what community means to me.

Since David and I moved to Portland, we have slowly been able to build community here with new friends. Ricky and Krista, Ryan and Stephanie, Tony and Sarah, those people are a huge part of our community here. I think it's hard for a woman (or anyone for that matter) to move to a new spot and find a new bestie, a ta-da friend who just "clicks" and immediately is a bosom friend. Krista is this friend to me. Actually Krista and I are crazily similar. When we moved up here, Krista and her husband Ricky were the first real non-field-traveler friends we met. Now she is one of my closest friends. I want to be more like her, really. She is super fun, incredibly organized (who carries around a label maker in their purse?) and just a happy person. She loves God and really tries to serve her husband and the other people around her. It's just so easy to be around her. Don't you love those kind of friends that you feel like you can just sit and be, and it's always normal, interesting and you don't have to fill the air with small talk? Last week we made a quiche because we wanted to be French and feel like Julia Child. It bubbled over and the oven started smoking, so we opened the windows and the oven, which caused the quiche to take an extra hour to set. At 9:00 we were finally eating our masterpiece. I am so glad I have a friend like Krista who enjoys eating quiche admist smoke-- and feels that it adds character to the whole experience of French cuisine. :) These kind of friendships are priceless, and her friendship has made me believe that I can have the kind of community I thought I'd never have again. Yay for new friendship!